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its on page(Last Update 31.07.04)
This is freaky. (Take note, I'm gonna be sayin stuff that's comin straight out frm my mind.. which is in hyper-drive emo mood now and kinda PMS-sy. so... dont say i never warn u then.)
Had a really Deja-Vu moment today. Experienced what I've experienced yesterday all over again. . except with a different person this time round.
Not sad, not angry or anything. It's jus....... weird.
Yeah. Just harbouring a weird feeling now.
Weird in a sense that everythin kinda falls in place so nicely. Too nicely. Till it comes to a point where it's like a mad rehearsal. When we get too quiet.. It's comforting at first.. then slowly goes on to being kinda strained. Dunno y but i can somewhat sense emos... disernment? u never know. I know tat u're troubled. i know tat it hurts to be around me yesterday. But still.. i gotta pretend tat everything's fine. e crappy jokes start comin out, and it's an oh-evrything's-so-lala-happy place again.And the shrug. Oh gosh.. I dont like e shrug... y must u two do that?! Both with e same look.. both with e same attitude. I may be jus paranoid.. but it's really hurtful in a way that u're shoving me away. ppl's talkin to u, concerned and stuff, and then e shrug gives tat heck-care attitude. If u REALLY have to do it.. know when's e proper time to do it can? and u know wad, i dont even know what im talking abt now already.....
Father, i've already lost one. He's pushing me outta his life for my so-called "own good".. hoping tat maybe i'll go back to him. But no. Im sorry, i'll hold on to a Someone who will never leave me nor forsake me. But pls, i don wanna lose e other one too. . he's jus someone i hold real dear to me. maybe even more so than wad i think. No romance involved, but there's jus this bond tat i cant seem to describe there. will never know if e feelings mutual too. U understand me best.. im commiting everything into ur hands, for ur will.
Im jus this broken someone who needs u evermore.
